I was asked this question by my sister this morning as she left the porch and the dogs followed her- including the one that was keeping me company. Ironically, I have been thinking about this question for a longer time than this. My answer to her was, “Yes.” My answer, most of the remaining time, is also, “Yes.” I am taking a trip tomorrow to Oahu- by myself. This is not the best way to take a trip; however, I am here and I want to experience this aspect of Hawaii and it just so happens that I will be doing it by myself. I think this is why I am so (overly) connected to facebook- it gives me the sense that I am taking others along with me as I post an absurd number of pictures and status updates. I want to feel connected to others even when I am by myself.
That being said, I think I come across cooler than I actually am. I have a lot of pictures on facebook of beautiful places around Hawaii that I have seen and some I have experienced. However, the majority of my trip has really been confined in two places: the front porch and the room I am borrowing. I am either fighting myself through the day or I am ignoring myself via Netflix or a book (more the former rather than the latter, I’m afraid).
This all leads to the questions I have been followed by (much like a dog pesters a person for attention) yesterday and today: to what end? to what purpose?
What drives my decisions? What motivates my actions? Why do I fight through the day? What/who am I really fighting? What am I ignoring? I find it remarkably easy to get caught up in my own thoughts and musings; that can be dangerous. I can, and do, become confused by… myself. There is a danger in what/how much I include in my routine, what I include in my life, who I include in my life- these all have a direct impact on who I am, who I am becoming, my thoughts, and how I make decisions. (This is not to say that I have no will or capabilities of my own… if you know me at all, you know this to be true. But that I am affected by what I allow to influence me.)
Sometimes, like most all people, I fear being alone as I continue on through this life. I am reminded this morning of my friend’s thoughts on this topic: his blog.
I have seen great love. I have read about the greatest of loves. I have experienced a certain amount of love. I miss that place and long for that connection. However, what would my life look like if I could channel that love, that energy and excitement into others around me. What if I could redirect that desire to then follow after God and his glory in my days? We were made for relationship, but I think people assume relationship applies only to the romantic and it does not; it encompasses so much more. I am in relationship with each person I come in contact with: at the store, *while driving,* my family, my friends, my church, each stranger whose path I cross, etc. So, what would my life look like if I would allow myself to become genuinely interested in the lives of those around me and loved each of these people… much like God loves me? What if I used that love for his glory instead of my own personal gain?
What a life that would be.
“Are you going to be alright by yourself?”
and then of course today’s Our Daily Bread is focussed on John 15:9-17
I am constantly amazed by the grace, love, encouragement, preparation… well, by all of God.