I’m leaving this week and I’m ready. I’m ready to be home and by “home” I mean Georgia. I mean my friends. I mean the east coast. I mean the south. I mean my own stuff. I mean (finally) being in Savannah. I miss the culture of the south. I miss so much I left.
I’ve come to realize, and appreciate, that I’m too “mainland” to truly enjoy being “island.” I mean that by comparison to my sister who fits here like she was born here. I don’t know where I fit just yet, but my heart seems to be longing for the south. I have truly loved two and a half places in my life: Georgia, Virginia, and parts of Colorado. Granted, the first two are places I have lived for years, the last is a place I will treasure from a summer’s visit.
This by no means is to say that I hate where I am. I am still so thankful to be here and have this time- although I have been extremely wasteful of my time and I feel as though I have become bitter. I find it is easier to be angry sometimes; although, there really isn’t anything to be angry about other than time moves so slow these days. Perhaps that is my frustration- I am simply ready to be home and must wait. It always seems to come back to waiting and what I do with that. So much for “being in the moment.”
This time is such a blessing and I can realize that, but I’m not taking advantage of it; I have this time with my sister and my brother-in-law and my nieces… and I’ll never have this time again. What am I doing with my time? (Netflix)
I’m literally waiting through the next 2.5 days before I leave. How sad that is.
It has been a good time. It has been a needed leave of absence from all that I knew and the place I was. I am not returning to that place nor am I returning the same as I left. That is how I know it has been a good time- that can also be read as, “the time has been good.”
This is not the blog to commemorate what I have learned or experienced since beginning my time here in Hawaii. That, I believe, must wait until I return to things I left.