feelings, fear, and safety

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” Marianne Wiliamson

This resonates so much with me right now because I am having to face that what holds me back so often from being great at something, rather than just being good, is that I am afraid that I will be great.  If I am indeed capable of more, it is scary to think what that will take- more work, more energy, change of habits/ routine/focus/etc. It would take me getting out of the place I am comfortable in. In counseling, this would be similar to learned helplessness: when people are told they have an issue, let’s say depression , and they may only have symptoms- who does not at one point or another- so that person learns how to cope with life in that place instead of moving past that place… once someone challenges their belief of being depressed and challenges them to step up and step out of that… imagine that- imagine someone challenging you to something different, something more than who you are now. Now imagine doing that for yourself. *That* is what this quote means to me. It means I am the only thing holding myself back from being great. I am the only one stopping myself, allowing myself to be adequate because that will get me by. And let’s be honest, it’s easier to live with the idea that I don’t measure up than that I am capable of more and let myself down or have the potential to do so in the future.

And after all of that, if I were to tap into that power, I am afraid it would become the new norm and that is daunting. Not only that, but then what would the new goal be- even more? Even better? How overwhelming is that?

Feeling inadequate and staying in that fear is safe.

 

Yesterday, John Piper shared this (which has been a great comfort in this whole process of discovery): After calming the sea he said, “Why are you afraid?” Not because Christians never drown. But they are safe in drowning.

Also, another point of comfort is that even if I try and fail, my God will never leave me and he will never forsake me- no matter where I find myself; whether that is allowing myself to stay in the comfort of inadequacy or reaching for something more and potentially failing and falling…

he’s good like that. 

 

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