Ultimately, I think we are people who have this need to gain approval… I wonder if that does not stem from a void created with the original sin and the fall. We look to others for this validation. This is what makes your choice of who you keep in your life so important. If you keep people close to you who do not value you, do not want the best for you, do not care enough about you to love you (and this includes the tough love of keeping you accountable), you are really hurting yourself. These types of people will not only give you a negative view of yourself, but they will not challenge you to live up to anything more than yourself.
However, if you choose friends who are willing to love you and want the best for you, their view of who you are and who you can be will then challenge you to live up to such a view.
so I can see how “you become what the most important person in your life thinks you are.”
And this begs the questions: who is the most important person in my life and what is their view of me? Are my friends the type who hold me to higher standards so I have to work to be that better person? Am I the type of friend who wants the best for my friends and challenges them to be better than they are? Is my view of them of such value that they feel encouraged by my friendship and not devalued and judged?
I think this can also lead to the question: are you turning only to people to essentially define who you are and who you are becoming? Are you including God in that continual process?