That seems to be becoming a common response.
I feel like I have spent years holding back, waiting for… well, I’m not sure. Maybe the heavens to part and the Lord to shine down and speak directly to me.
And in those years, parts of my heart have been quieted, silenced. My hopes have suffered. My dreams have faded.
In this place I am in- this time of preparation and these steps moving forward- I feel wide open. I feel as if my heart has been given life, my hopes have been revived, my dreams have been given a voice. I feel like I am mentally, emotionally, spiritually (and yes, physically) doing cartwheels! To say it is overwhelming is an understatement.
So, my question is this: why not? Why not dream big? I am not saying to go at this with no wisdom and discernment. But why not give the dream space? Why not let it breath? Why not breath it in and speak it out?
Because. We are fallen. We give way to fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. I’m not sure which one holds more sway in our decision to quiet dreams.
That is the beauty of the place I find myself. I have nothing to lose. I am held to no one’s expectations other than God’s- and although I feel as though his are all very big, they are very much from a place of love. And he is not surprised by my dreams. And he not only speaks to my dreams, but runs with me as I chase them, and meets me wherever I am in the midst of them. If these dreams do not come to reality, I will be able to answer the Lord that it was not due to my passivity or lack of effort. Failure is always an option, it is always a risk, but it will not be due to lack of passion or pursuit.
These dreams: they are large. They seem massive. But the only things that holds them back are the questions rooted in fear.
I will not be given the chance if I don’t ask. I will not be taken seriously if I do not believe in what I’m asking. So it starts with a question. And it is followed by the first step.
So, I am breathing my dreams:
I dream of making announcements at church once a month.
I dream of connecting with women one-on-one and speaking into lives of other women- hope, healing, love, authentic concern.
I dream of being used to build a place for women to be ministered to in the church, by the church, to build the church, to love the church, to minister to church, and to minister to those whom the Lord loves… which is everyone.
I dream of the church coming together- in community, rising up to what the Lord has called the church to be and do- to worship- to live out worship. I dream that the building of women’s ministry will be a platform for this to happen.
I dream of the churches, specifically in my city, coming together as one body- not necessarily in revival, or an awakening, but a gathering- a pulling together.
I dream of having the freedom to sink into learning and writing and leading and living out this faith as concentrated and intentionally and as much as I can. Not just as I go about my work day, but without the restraint of the work day.
I dream of speaking and teaching. Not just facilitating, but pouring out to women- large groups of women, thousands of women.
There is a rumbling. There is *something* coming. I can feel it. I can sense it. The hearts of women are being stirred. I dream that this will inspire the hearts of men as well. That men will respond to the invitation to use their strength to take the lead. I dream that the church is inspired by the passion and rooted in the disciplines and dares to accept this dream and walk it out.