the boldness to ask without faith

the difficulty of being a single woman who is a Christian

growing up in the church, girls were taught not to cause boys to stumble- don’t dress scandalously (anything above fingertip length for the legs, anything below a T-shirt required an undershirt, no two piece bathing suits, and wear a size bigger than needed so as not to wear anything too tight), don’t flirt, basically: don’t show anything. I’m no expert, but I think boys were taught not to lead girls on, which seemed translated to: don’t be open.

These rules, although well meaning, seem to have created a divide between the sexes that has made it nearly impossible to learn healthy interactions between males and females. Without encouragement from boys, girls began to read into anything nice boys said or did so as to make guys withdraw even more. So the boundaries of safety became a chasm.

Instead of celebrating the differences and facing the inevitable awkwardness that is to come with any type of relationship, I feel as though the church tried to avoid it using guilt and shame. The principle was sound, but the execution was massively out of proportion.

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