Those days when we don’t quite feel like ourselves, which causes us to try to find ourselves, again. Maybe it’s the endurance of a day or the length of a season that could stretch into years.
We look inside and we look outside. We talk to others and we talk to God. We pick up new hobbies and develop new habits. Or maybe we lay some things down and let some things go.
We work so hard to be comfortable – to feel at ease in our own skin again – to find or establish our equilibrium.
And we miss it.
Instead of fighting through those days, what if we saw the fringes, the frazzle and the friction of the irritation as an invitation?
As Christians, we are called to die to ourselves.
What if these are those moments the Lord is letting us see our own selves – the selves we are to die to?
When I am irritated or so drained it is hard to keep one foot in front of the other – what if that is the place I come face-to-face with the self that needs to die? What if that is the moment I can surrender whatever it is – without the need to figure it all out first – and choose to let the Lord fill the gap of what is needed?
I think this can be true whether we are actively pursuing the Lord or not.
This is because when we first surrendered – when we agreed that we are sinners in need of a Savior, and we chose to believe that Jesus is that Savior – the Son of God – the only way we can be reconciled to God because of his sacrifice to cover our sins – that was a covenant agreement. That means that God holds us to our word long after we’ve given up on His Word. That also means that His Word is good long after our words have fallen flat.
That means, in the midst of the moments of “those” days – on your last nerve, at the end of your rope, gaining a new gray hair while pulling out the rest – God is there and He is inviting you to die to that self that fights for it’s own right.
So, instead of cutting off or shutting down, instead of using reasons as excuses for behavior that is unworthy of the calling we have been given, what if we took that moment to die to that part of our self and let fullness of God work in us and through us?