To be known is scary and only equaled in fear by being loved.
But being known – to the degree that others know your reactions and can guess your motives leaving you no room to hide – that is a different kind of scary.
Being loved – to the degree that you are known and still valued – that is a different kind of scary.
Why is it that the thing we are designed to crave is also one of the scariest things to hold onto?
I find it helpful to start at the beginning of the broken things.
I would like to break it down to the Garden when Adam and Eve sinned and realized their nakedness and hid from the Lord – the first breaking of a relationship. And they hid.
They did not trust that the Lord would still love them if he knew them.
And we still suffer from so many of the things first seen at creation. Maybe it’s in our DNA – literally. Maybe it’s hardwired into our culture at such a level it is passed down with each generation.
But that broken fear also has a redemptive purpose.
It is an opportunity – each and every time – to see the reaction from the Lord – to see Truth win out over fear.
Because after God let Adam and Eve hear their consequences of their disobedience, “the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.” (Gen 3: 21)
He was concerned for their perceived shame and he gave them a way to step out of hiding.
I have been reading through Hosea for the last several weeks. It’s a picture of Israel choosing what they want over and over again but they do not choose the Lord. The Lord is grieved by this and desires the relationship with his people, but they do not choose that. And the Lord lets them make their choice – he lets them choose the lesser things.
And in that choosing, there is a place created for the Lord to ultimately redeem his people.
There’s always an end game with the Lord and it is our redemption – for his glory and our good.
Praise the Lord he sees me, knows me, and loves me.
Praise the Lord his end game gives my fears and failings purpose.